For the last couple of weeks I gallantly fought off a cold, confident in my ability to handle the attack of such simple charlatans as common cold germs. However, a little too many holiday celebrations and networking events – and who knows what, really – seem to have given the germs more traction this time around.
For 2-3 days this last week I had to pull back on contact with other human beings. I had to minimize talking so I wouldn’t further aggravate my bronchials and I had to stay inside. I had to cancel dates. I could work on projects on my computer, and keep a couple of phone appointments; otherwise I had to postpone anything that required me to go outdoors, or extend my energy too much.
It reminded me of the times when I felt really badly for longer periods of time when I was sick with Crohn’s. After 13 years of dealing with an unpredictable body it seems I’ve learned that when dealing with things gone awry, there comes a point when, no matter how much you want to do certain things you just can’t. You have to pull back to get well. You have to realize that not everything goes as you want when you want it – not great when you have so many things to get done!
Now, when I see people pushing mightily against circumstances that are preventing them from doing what they want RIGHT NOW, I mentally shake my head a bit. I know they haven’t yet realized that there’s something of a perfect order to things in life – or if they know this they’ve temporarily forgotten. I think this is one thing I’ve learned from my illness, and one thing I hoped to convey in Keep Working, Girlfriend!
In one of the chapters, Building Your Support Team, I wrote about the importance of you being on your support team. When people ask me about the things that may have contributed to my being in remission the past couple of years, I don’t actually know. But I think learning to pay attention to my body’s signals is one of the factors.
By the way, I’m still learning there’s a perfect order to things in life. I always want things to go my way. I just seem to have gotten a handle on all this when it comes to my body and business.
Joan
I think that colds and other “minor” illnesses serve as a reminder to us that no matter how much we want to be, and usually feel that we are, we are not in control. For those of us with chronic medical conditions I think it is especially important that we don’t live under the illusion that we are in control. The best we can do is to manage our illness by paying attention to our bodies and taking appropriate actIon (pulling back) when necessary. I know that I forget how really cold and snowy weather affects my ability to cope until I’m right smack dab in the middle of it and wondering why I feel so rotten. It really saps my energy and makes just getting through the day an uphill battle. When I finally come to my senses and take appropriate actions like putting some things on hold for the duration and getting more rest I feel better (not any more energetic) because I understand what’s going on. I have made a promise to myself to really nuture myself, primarily by not overscheduling and getting a lot more rest for the next three months because I know that cold weather is not my friend and I can’t move to a milder climate right now. I live in Chicago and our winters can be brutal.
Here’s my take on it. When I was very young (before CI), I hated getting sick – it made me really grumpy. I found when I was sick a lot from chronic illness, I had no patience for normal illnesses like cold or even flu. I would literally find myself thinking, “I don’t have time for this.” But I had a lot of resilience and patience for the CI. Now that I’m better for several years, I feel almost glee when I experience a normal setback, like cold or a virus. I find myself minimizing it to others by saying , “It’s no big deal. I know this will get better!” It goes to show how much we learn about ourselves living with CI.