A couple of days ago one of our readers asked why the focus on women, and would there be something for men. I wasn’t really thinking about the question when I was watching TV this week, but an answer may have been revealed on 3 separate occasions.

First of all, (not discussed on these shows) autoimmune diseases impact women much more than men; the ratios range from 2:1 to 10:1. This seems to have to do with the fact that we can have children, meaning our bodies have had to find ways to protect themselves from this foreign body (a baby is half foreign, you know) while keeping it alive at the same time.

Ok, enough biology for the day.

Consider this: because we can have children, we seem to react differently to our illnesses than men. The choices are harder.

Example 1: On January 8th the women of The View talked about famous artists in previous centuries who lived very long lives in ill health, and never stopped painting. They were impressed that they working all the way to the end of their lives, even in the face of ongoing illness. The women further noted that all artists of earlier times were men. So, they pondered, why? Why could men produce such works of art and not women? They decided: men only had one focus, working. Women have always had “distractions.”

Example 2: That night I came across a documentary on the Documentary channel, The Breast Cancer Diaries, about reporter Ann Murry Paige who, at the age of 38, was diagnosed with cancer. (While cancer is not an autoimmune illness, the quality of living with it has similar characteristics.) Ann had already stopped working full time after her first child was born. Her second child was only about a year old when she was diagnosed. She video-taped her entire 6-month journey from diagnosis through treatment and her one hour back at work.

I was struck by something Ann said about that hour she was back on the air. As you would expect, she was very nervous to return to work. Afterwards she noted that she didn’t think about her body or cancer one time during that hour. Ann decided to stay home with her children after all, which was in line with a choice made before she became ill.

Nonetheless, Ann couldn’t have done a better job illustrating one of the primary reasons Rosalind and I wrote Keep Working, Girlfriend! The ability to work gives us sense of strength and something to focus on outside of our most personal concerns, even if for only an hour at a time. Though Ann decided to stay home rather than return to news broadcasting, she was clear about the sense of accomplishment she felt during that hour.

Example 3: On January 9th, also on The View (hey, I record it every day), Montel Williams talked about his experience when he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) in the early 1990′s. His doctor told him that he should prepare to retire then and there. He was appalled at the suggestion and decided no way! He did a lot of research, took medicines prescribed when it made sense to him, and sought help with his symptoms through nutrition. He reports feeling better than ever, and is still working.

Trust me, I wasn’t looking for it, just listening. It seems that, generally speaking, men will go back to work just as soon as they can; women may not. I’ve always been for choice in this matter and do not believe one decision is right or wrong. It does appear that women need a bit more support for this choice, and certainly face different challenges because of our biology.

Joan

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