I’ve been spending this past few weeks writing about and thinking about the value of vacations to self-employed professionals, and reading pathetic statistics about how so many people - employees and business owners - are failing to take them with much regularity. I’m even running a free tele-seminar program about taking vacations, as it’s a business topic that doesn’t get much attention. Bottom line: most of us are vacation deprived. The average US citizen is working one more month a year than in 1976!
What about people with autoimmune diseases, or any illness for that matter? If you’re at home on disability, does that count as your vacation? Can you still take them and should you? If you the answer is yes, how can you take a vacation if you’re feeling like crap and have little or no energy to do much of anything?
I can still remember the time when my husband and I traveled to Laguna Beach, CA for 3 days (back then I lived about an hour away), only to spend more time in the not-so-great less expensive hotel than enjoying this lovely beach town. I can also remember the road trip I took with my son the first year I was ill, traversing Central California’s Highway 5 to spend time with a friend. The trip home included a bathroom stop every hour - not relaxing!
Last week I was able to enjoy a short trip to San Francisco, and I know that it’s a blessing. Though I’ve been dealing with some weirdo inflamed lower eyelid thingy for a few weeks (that raises the pettiness of my vanity to new heights), it’s nothing like the pain and debilitating symptoms associated with my Chrohn’s flare-up that have cut more than one vacation short.
I’d like to believe that disability leave doesn’t fully qualify as a vacation, and that vacations are good for women with chronic illnesses as long as they don’t cause undue stress.
I propose the following prescription for body-friendly vacations:
1. If you have to fly, and flying either aggravates your symptoms or requires you get your needs met, tell the flight crew (this is the old “ask for help” requirement to make life easier).
2. Figure out what will help you relax. My husband likes to move. Even when I’m well, I’m not as likely to seek out frequent road trips from my hotel to be happy. When in Hawaii one year, he took some trips alone while I stayed near the pool.
3. Communicate with your traveling companions. Let them know your limitations and concerns so they can support you. I once took a trip to Mexico with my best friend and we shared a room. Even though she is my best friend, I wasn’t delighted to tell her about my bathroom needs. I did though, so I wouldn’t have to hide.
4. Check out tours so that you can see the sites without taxing your body.
5. Go do some place warm, a place where the natural beauty and the weather sooths your spirit without doing much at all.
6. Be flexible. Plan things you’d like to do, and be ok if you can’t get to everything. Go with people who will be ok about changing plans too.
What impact has your own illness had on your vacation choices? Are you taking them as much as you might like? What’s the most awkward situation you’ve gotten into? Have vacations helped you feel better?
Joan
Nice post, Joan. I’m planning a big trip to Mexico with a bunch of (non-diabetic) friends this summer, and I’m a bit concerned. Thanks…
Amy, good for you! I hope you’ll come back and write about some of the things you did to manage your wellness AND enjoy your vacation.
Joan
This blog spoke to me through a giant megaphone! I just got back from a trip to the UK, and I suffered a lot. I have a digestive disorder, so I had to be extra careful about what I ate. I eat mostly veggies, and the veggies there were awful! I thought that taking a plane would make travel easier, rather than being in a car and having to stop for bathroom breaks. No such luck. On a plane, I have to ask the people on either side of me to move every time I have to go to the bathroom. Or hold it. Sadly I sucked it up and mostly chose the latter. Your five tips are very helpful. Do you have any suggestions for how to deal with the frequent bathroom breaks? Is there some form of traveling that is accommodating for us frequent goers? I can’t think of any, other than walking alone!
this blog really spoke to me. I just returned from a trip to the UK, and I ran into probs with my illness too. The worst is traveling. Is there any form of transportation that’s easy for us frequent bathroom goers? No matter what, I always feel like I’m putting somebody out.
HI - I have to comment because I lived with UC for 5 horrible years (until an ileostomy) and was ofte in places where I felt embarrassed, trapped and ugle about this disease. Having an ileostomy means that undressing in front of anyone (and that often comes up in a women’s locker room) is a challenge — so I often change in a bathroom stall -which feels silly but just more comfortable.
As to bathroom breaks? Yup - between bladder problems and UC (even ileostomy means needing to voide fruquently) - I’m always having to tell people.
I avoid going places where there are no bathrooms - hiking , golf courses (I gave that up for that reason). BEing in cities can be a problem because restaurants often won’t let you just pop in and use the services. But you can’t always do that, can you? On a plane and in movies, I try to sit in aisle seats. Travelling IS a challenge — and I find that I just have to suck it up. I’ve even said to people that I have to go to the bathroom frequently so they might prefer to have me sit on the aisle - that sometimes works.
Rosalind
To the question about bathroom breaks, when even going to a store is difficult when you “gotta go,” I’ve had to learn to get over the embarrassment. Any place with air conditioning made it worse.
A place to stay that’s relaxing without getting out and about would be my vote. Where short walks rather than long treks are possible. My need to go the bathroom is less in the afternoon than morning when I’ve had flare ups, so planning any excursions with that in mind is helpful.
The getting there is probably the trickiest part. Shorter trips by plane than longer ones? Getting an aisle sit as Rosalind mentioned is better than crawling over people. And, no matter where or how, going with someone who really understands is very good.
It’s so easy to stay home and sometimes we have to. if your spirit has different ideas than your body, sometimes you just have to take it with you.
Joan
I have arthritis, ehlers-danlos, fibro, and the resulting digestive issues associated with the diseases and the daily regimen of meds that do not always (almost never) agree with me. I teach online university classes, edit and write books, and am fortunate to be able to do all my work from home.
We have always been a camping family and now that the kids are grown and gone, we still have a camping trailer for our vacations. In my younger days, when I could still drive and sit in a vehicle for long periods of time, we were “road warriors” and travelled extensively in the summers when the kids were out of school. Campers are great because I always had my bathroom whenever I needed it. It’s easy to just pull off the road to a parking area so I can run back to the trailer!
These days we don’t take “traditional” vacations for a week or more. Instead, we keep our camper at a campground about 45 minutes away from home. It’s a short and easy drive for a weekend away without a lot of packing or hassle. Vacation does not have to mean travelling for those of us who cannot travel for health or financial reasons. Even a short weekend can meet that need to get away. I’ve found that frequent weekends away are less stressful than planning, packing, traveling, etc. for a week-long trip. I’ve found that time away longer than a weekend tends to leave me more exhausted than not so the traditional vacations just don’t work for me anymore.
I’m a “cocooner” and yet I crave getting away (left over from my road warrior days probably!). These two needs / desires are obviously at odds with one another. But having the camper set up year round at a campground within a short drive of home meets both those needs.
~VP~
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