Too tired to post an entry
It happens to all of us, doesn’t it? You’ve said you’d get something done and you realize that what’s going on with your body is creating mush in your brains, making it difficult to fulfill on an intention. You can perform where you absolutely have to, but try to push when you’re tired, and it’s practically painful.
It doesn’t happen often, but last night some low level grade of worry kept me from really getting to sleep. I think my body eventually won the battle with my mind at about 2:30 am.
This is my week to post and today was the day I’d planned to write my post. However, because of other projects and appointments on my schedule today, and my mush brain, I simply had nothing to write. I couldn’t find my inspiration nor did I have the capacity to do some research to uncover something current and relevant. That happens some times, right?
Thank goodness I have a partner here. I sent a short note to Rosalind and admitted my complete lack of thought about what I might write about today. She made a couple of suggestions, including what I’m writing about here (the other two ideas would have taken too much brain power).
How does any of this tie into our book, or the challenges of living with a chronic illness? Sometimes we get really, really tired! And, being the good soldiers we are, we may push and push and push, more committed to the external promise than honoring what’s going on with our bodies. If I’ve learned anything from those times when my body just wouldn’t support my lengthy to-do list, it’s been to stop pushing. And, to stop trying to be so compliant. (I didn’t send my newsletter out today either, though I meant to.)
In my coaching business I work with self-proclaimed perfectionists. I smile when they tell me this. I know the tendency well. That’s another thing my illness has taught me; to stop being quite so concerned about what others will think. It’s really hard to “look good” when prednisone gives you a moon face, or you forget your words, or you’re running to the bathroom several times a day!
Like I said in the subject line, too tired to post … at least much more than the truth of today.
Joan
Joan, I’m really glad Rosalind suggested that you send a message out. Your message today was perfect (for me)! I feel the same way as you do this morning and I have 3 documents to finish by noon (It’s now 8:51 am). I enjoy your newsletter/email blast. Thank you for the reminder that prednisone messes with one’s memory. As a business owner, I do understand and appreciate whatever you send out because it’s all relevant. You don’t need researched topics each time you post….just sharing your experiences might be all we need for the week.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Joan – Your post was very comforting to me! The energy that used to work for me when inspiration only came at the last minute (and I still made the deadline!) is no longer there, but I still find myself not ‘managing’ my time realistically. It can be very disheartening, and I am sure it is the reason that people with disabilities just give up sometimes. But I won’t give up; I just have to try harder to set realistic expectations when I agree to take on a project.!
Elizabeth
Elizabeth and “Focused,” you know, you just never know how something will hit people, so I’m touched by your comments. Thank you, both, for letting me know that what I wrote hit home in some way.
Hey Focus, did you get those three documents done by noon? Whew! (Thanks for the kudos on my newsletter, too.)
Joan
I have felt this way before as well.