I’ve already written about my job at Brentano’s books, and what happened when I became ill, both on our blog and in our book. I haven’t written about the dream. The bookstore I opened and managed was located in Sherman Oaks, California, just a very short distance from Hollywood. Most of my staff were aspiring to work in the film industry. I didn’t give a hoot about Hollywood. I was simply interested in writing. Back then (it was the early 1990’s) I only knew that I might like to write a book. I had no idea about what.
If anyone had told me that my first book would be based on my experience living and working with a chronic illness, I would not have believed it. I was a pretty darn healthy girl. If they also told me that I would be talking to groups of 20-50 people about marketing, time management and work-life balance issues, I wouldn’t have believed them either. Not this scardy cat. I most certainly would not have believed it 8 years ago when my Crohn’s symptoms were pretty constant, and the slightest bit of anxiety would send me rushing to the bathroom.
But, here I am, with a book, getting ready for my first book signing event, right back where it started, at a bookstore. Is this the silver lining in my story? Did I have to go through this to have my dream?! Apparently so.
It’s hard to find the silver lining when you can’t do your work without also feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, or you have used up your sick days and it’s only July, or it feels like you have to choose between taking care of yourself and having real fun. It’s a big giant suck.
I like the late Randy Pausch’s distinctions in The Last Lecture. Tigger or an Eeyore? Silver lining and dreams or the alternative? Which is better for your health?
Believe me when I tell you that I’m not a pollyanna. I can go into victim mode like everyone else. But, as my coach says, I’m so used to the life I have, I’ve forgotten how good it really is.
I close with another one from Randy’s Last Lecture, ‘We can’t change the cards we’re dealt, just how we play the hand.”
Joan
P.S. I’ll be back with a more strategically-oriented post in two weeks. I’ll write about the questions of disclosure during interviews, and all the variables that go into the decision, predictable, and otherwise.
“Balance” for a woman seems often like an oxymoron, but chronic illness and pain add to the challenge.
Thanks for helping us all learn better how to let our cream rise to the top! And how to keep it there!
“It’s hard to find the silver lining when you can’t do your work without also feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, or you have used up your sick days and it’s only July, or it feels like you have to choose between taking care of yourself and having real fun. It’s a big giant suck.”
You’re right. It does!
Wondering where the book is filed at Borders, etc. Couldn’t find anyone to help me yesterday and I wanted to (1) buy a copy and (2) put the other front face out for you
I looked under the illness area (always a mess) and also work/career.
Where are they putting your book?
Lisa, thanks for looking for the book in the store. I know that in Barnes and Noble it’s filed under Disease in the health section of the store, and specifically filed under Autoimmune Diseases, as they are organized in that section by type of disease. I’m told that when they receive the books they’re specifically directed about where to shelve them, but I don’t know if that varies from chain to chain.
I think it could also be in careers, but it’s most likely in health because of our primary title. What you can’t ever figure out is where it is if someone has picked it up and moved it.
Thanks again!
Joan